Most of you who read this are my close friends and so you're already aware of my recent struggles. I'm kind of tired of talking and thinking about those. Alot of you though say things like, "OK, I see what's happening with your mom but 'how are you doing'?"
Hmhhh......How am I doing? I think I can say that I'm finally at peace after some very strong initial resistance (it's been pointed out to me that I often resist at first - a whole other topic).
Right now I feel like I usually feel when I initiate a change as opposed to how I feel when one is thrust upon me. Generally, when fear or discomfort would surface, I would say to myself , "just think of all the great people that you'll meet and the wonderful things that you'll encounter". It's been my approach to most of the major changes in my life. I wasn´t thinking that way when I first arrived but I think I am now.
So what has sustained me and gotten me to this point? The single biggest thing that has helped has been my family and of course my friends (that´s you!) My brother Randy offered me his truck and made my life so much easier as I searched for transportation. He and his wife Doris have also invited me to dinner regularly. My sister Joanna has offered me her apartment to use when I just need a change of surroundings or want to spend time working with no distractions.
When I needed to be in the presence of people whom I love and who accept me for me, tears and all, and who stand ready to listen and infuse me with their loving energy, I´ve traveled to Baltimore, Chicago, Charlotte, Ashville and Richmond. It seems like a long way to go but I don't think so. There is nothing like the company of friends.
And then there's been good ole alone time on the Perkiomen Trail, located a short drive from my home, a trail that goes on forever, or at least to Philadelphia, and along which the Umani creek flows. If you were here right now, you'd hear the water from the creek in the background (OK, maybe not as I'm typing this but you would if you were here while I was speaking about it into my iphone). Sitting on a rock, I've contemplated, meditated, cried, became energized and reflected on how to move from what was going on in my life before to what's going on in my life now, resolving as much in my heart as possible in order to be open to what's here in front of me today.
So now I have a car, health insurance, family and recent interactions with most of you. The last piece of business, besides finding a place of my own, is finding a source of income. I'm working on that!
Well, that's what I've been doing. Here are a few random pics - just a few. Do not stop here. Make sure you make it to the bottom of the page.
One of my meditation spots off the Perkioment Trail
On the trail:
I say 'hi' to the horses each time I pass them.. Yesterday, one outside of the barn galloped to the fence to greet me. I felt a little intimidated.
This was just this past weekend. I woke up at 5:30am to this little guy grabbing my nose and cheeks and staring me in the face. No wonder, he fell asleep at the table during lunch.
Here we are later that day (after naps) at a garlic and cheese festival held at a local Ski Resort, Bear Creek. I woke up that day with both of these little precious' but it was RJ who slept next to me. I imagine if it had been Simone, she would have been tickling me instead of grabbing my face and checking me out.
This just in - the cancer markers which were at over 300 when she began treatment are down to 79! This isn't good news - this is out of this world fantastic news. I'm sure she'll tell you all about it in her blogpost.